lacking depth

Using A Dumbphone FAQ

I have been using a dumb phone (specifically a F1 Horizon Bluebird) for a few months now in lieu of a smartphone and people seem curious about this affectation. So here I am collecting questions I have frequently received and my responses.

Why did you do this?

I didn't like how it felt having basically the hypnotic VHS tape from Infinite Jest in my pocket all the time. I felt that the ability to fleetingly entertain myself at a moment's notice was interfering with doing things I actually wanted to do. I resent the massive technology conglomerates that make these things and I don't believe they have my best interests at heart. I'm a habitual dork/contrarian.

This question is actually not presented to me very often. When I tell people I have a dumbphone why is surprisingly obvious to 99% of them.

How do I do all the stuff smartphones handle?

I carry around a small bag containing:

When I need to Venmo somebody I write it down in my notebook and do it when I get home.

To get places I map it with Google Maps before I leave and write down directions. In an absolute pinch my phone has Waze but it's a huge pain to use and I have really limited data.

I mostly just take the bus instead of using Uber. This has been relatively fine, but Chicago seriously needs to get its bus shit together. If you live in a city where buses come regularly and you have functioning bus lanes this would be way better.

When someone wants me to scan a QR code I just say I can't and let them figure it out.

Do I miss having a smartphone?

No, not really. For a week or so I found myself reaching for my phone when I was waiting in line or whatever but that went away pretty quick. Compared to quitting nicotine it's not a big deal.

I bring my Kindle with me everywhere so if I have more than 10 minutes of sitting around I pass the time with that. I'm generally glad to be reading more books. The amount of effort put into books is orders of magnitude higher than the effort put into posts. As we spiral towards the AI slopocalypse I'm increasingly placing high value on human effort.

Have I achieved enlightenment?

I don't think so. There's a certain narrative right now in the "digital minimalist" sphere that doing this kind of thing will basically help you achieve some kind of Buddhist state of tranquility. This genre of evangelism can usually be identified by phrases like "dopamine detox". I think we've reached a point where "dopamine" can be added to the "technically real but functionally pseudo-scientific quackery" bucket with "antioxidant" and "organic".

I saw a youtube video where a guy said he was "four times happier" since getting rid of his smartphone. I don't even know what that means.

However, there have been several subtle but large improvements in my general state of being.

First:

I have regained the ability to sit quietly and just kind of think if necessary. I'm not having super profound thoughts or anything, but if I'm in a situation where I just have to wait and don't have anything to do it's fine.

This difference is what makes me feel like I had a genuine addiction to my phone (although mild and easily broken), because it feels remarkably similar to the sensation of not needing to smoke.

Briefly, for those who haven't ever been addicted to nicotine: smoking cigarettes feels amazing in the way scratching a terrible itch feels amazing. It can be easy when you are a smoker to picture not smoking as spending all your time refraining from scratching a terrible itch and in fact at first this is true. It is harder to conceptualize the lack of an itch to scratch at all, although this is what happens when addiction is finally broken.

The smartphone is sort of like this (but way less intense). So I sort of get what the "dopamine detox" gurus are getting at, but I still think that's a dumb way to talk about it.

Second:

I do think having more "idle time" has contributed positively to my creative output. It's not like I've written three novels or anything, but I do have more little thoughts and ideas sort of bouncing around in my head. When I sit down to make music or write or whatever it feels like the crop of ideas to harvest is richer.

Third:

Being a dumb phone user does appear to generally increase your standing in the eyes of most people. This is surprising to me because I was vegan for six years. I think being vegan is way harder and of significantly higher utilitarian value to society, but people fucking hated it. Maybe it's just a la mode currently or something but the response has been very positive.

WARNING: The trend may hit an inflection point where suddenly everyone gets very fucking tired of this and you start getting "the vegan treatment".

Four:

Doing a bunch of stuff the "old-fashioned way" is kind of fun? I've come to kind of enjoy navigation without just following a big blue line. I feel like I'm getting to know the city better and I have to engage with the actual world in front of me instead of a pared down simulacrum.

When I need help or have a question about something I have to ask people because I can't google it and this is nice.

Do I recommend it?

Yes, absolutely. You have nothing to lose but your chains. It's totally fine. You won't reach enlightenment but it will be better. Smartphone is bad. We all know it's bad. I'm happy to report you don't need it at all.

#tech